A Day In Mom's Shoes

Like many parents in today's day and age, I do not work a conventional job. My husband is a pastor of a small church, so I help quite a bit as a pastor's wife, I am an artist who does commission pieces and teaches art class (before covid-19 hit that is), I homeschool my 2 boys ages 12 and 8, and now to add to my already busy schedule I am a blogger as well. Our circumstances provide us with a very happy life, but on a budget, so I also do a lot of time consuming things to save and earn money which I will be sharing each week with my Money Savers Monday posts. So yes, I am a stay at home mom, and no, I do not sit around and each bon bons all day. I am a busy lady, a fact that my boys had not yet completely understood.

Before I get too far into this, I want to note that my boys are not bad kids in anyway, but they are not perfect either and some lessons are simply better when experienced rather than taught. Also, they have been going through a tough time after losing their beloved great grandmother 2 weeks ago and their dog 1 week ago. So, this was not only a lesson in kindness, it was also to get them out of their own worlds of grief and help them realize they were affecting people around them who were also dealing with grief as well. We have always taught them that all emotions are good when dealt with the correct way.

Betty Geraldine Jackson

Miss Emma Bemma Heaton

When you add in all the extra stuff like kids being kids, it being summertime, and all they were going through the sibling fighting was a bit out of control and there was issues with respecting my husband and I. But the final straw was combination of a very hard day, an exhausted momma and a beautiful 12-year-old boy with the backing of my adorable 8-year-old, telling me, "Why do we have to do chores? It's summertime and you make us do everything." Mind you their chores consist of cleaning the living room, doing their own laundry, keeping their room clean and after dinner dishes. But momma kind of broke a little inside and I did not want to sit there and explain to them all that I do or why I needed their help or why that comment hurt so much. Instead I came up with an idea and said, "If that is how you feel then tomorrow you and your brother will trade me chores. It will not include my work that I do on top of all the chores, but it will consist of making breakfast, and cleaning up after (dishes and kitchen). Then you will do all the extra laundry, along with your own (since I have to do my own laundry). Since we usually just make and eat lunch when we are hungry you can have lunch off. Then I want you to make a meal from scratch that I will provide recipes for, clean as you cook and have it all ready and hot at the same time around 6:30 pm when we normally eat." They both shrugged their unknowing shoulders and said, "Sure," and "OK".

Then next day I woke my boys up at 7:30 am (on a Sunday morning when they aren't used to getting up until 10:00 am with the perfect amount of time to eat and get ready for church). They were confused at first until they remembered the deal, they just made the night before. Then up they got and slowly dragged themselves into the kitchen. The first thing I hear is Quinton (my oldest) saying, "Aw man we forgot to wash the pots and pans from last night." To which I responded, "Man, that is so frustrating this early in the morning isn't it?" His eyes did a half roll, and then he shook his head yes.

I went into my room with my door open to listen but not intrude or hover. I heard the pots and pans, the discussion of what to make and then the overwhelming smell of burning food. As much as I wanted to go in, they did not ask for help, so I stayed where I was. About 10 minutes later Quinton comes into my room and says, "I just need to get out of the smoke for a minute, don't worry we only ruined 5 eggs." and with my laughter, he grins and goes back into the kitchen.

After another 45 minutes Jasper announces, "Breakfast is ready." So my husband and I sit down to the table, with the now faint smell of burnt eggs, to our very proud boys presenting us with over cooked scrambled eggs and undercooked hash browns topped with parmesan cheese. We pray for the food and the boy even served us.

Breakfast A La Quinton and Jasper

It was a tough breakfast to eat but I told them how proud we were of them and then my husband decided to add in a little bit to the lesson. "Can you grab me a tortilla and the other cheese and some Thousand Island dressing, I'm going to make a breakfast burrito out of this." You could tell it stung them a little to hear he wanted to alter their masterpiece of a breakfast. Then Quinton looked at me and asked, "Is this what it feels like when we complain about your food or try to change it to make it taste better?" I was not expecting him to catch onto that lesson so quickly and told him, "That is exactly how it feels." Together both boys apologized to me and got my husband the extra ingredients. After breakfast I cleared the table and they had their brake knowing they would have to clean the kitchen and do the dishes before dinner.

At around 4:30 I picked out dinner from a couple of recipes I saved from Pinterest:

Baked Lemon Butter Chicken Thighs, Potatoes Au Gratin, Oven Roasted Broccoli

I printed them out to see how they would do following instructions (since that has been another issue lately) and time management since the chicken was frozen, the potatoes took 1 1/2 hours, the chicken took 45 minutes and the broccoli 20 minutes to cook. I called the boys over to look over the recipes and do a little explanation of which to start first, have all the ingredients prepped and measured before they began cooking. Then clean up and start the prep for the next dish.

At 5:00 they start the meal prep for the potatoes, in the dining area, which put up a few flags, but when I asked why they said, it had more room. This a reasonable answer because our kitchen is a super tiny 10'x12' with limited counter space. Using the mandolin to slice the potatoes and onions, they now understand why they have to wash it so often when I am cooking. Jasper prepared the cheeses and Quinton made the sauce on the stove and the au gratin made it in the oven.

Next was supposed to be the chicken and I could hear the tension rising along with their voices. So, this time I stepped in the kitchen to help with a few pointers and saw the disaster that was created from their chaos and why there was no room to make the potatoes. They never cleaned up everything from breakfast

I ask them to stop and have them explain to me what is going on, where they are in their steps and why they were arguing. The explanation came down to not following the steps and not being able to find all the ingredients. So, we went back to step one, clean the kitchen. During the cleaning process the discovery of the pan used for the burnt eggs was a tough one for me to swallow. They used one of my nicer ceramic pans and apparently caught the actual pan on fire (we have an electric stove so that one is still a mystery) ruining my pan completely. Once we had a little talk about cooking temperatures and safety, step 2 came so much easier because now they could find the missing ingredients.

The time was now 6:00 and they asked me how they were supposed to cook the chicken since it was still frozen. Knowing it would not get done for a reasonable time, I stepped in for a minute to give them a lesson in adaptation. How do we defrost the chicken quickly? Use the defrost function on our multi-functional microwave. What is the fastest way to cook it? The Instant Pot. How do we make the outside golden? Put it in the oven. They still used the seasoning given in the recipe, but I added one can of chicken stock, and put it in the Instant Pot for 22 minutes.

While that was cooking, I told them how to do the broccoli in the microwave using the bake setting and told them to preheat the oven to 400 in 15 minutes. When the Instant pot was done, they were to release the pressure, put the chicken on a baking sheet and bake it for 10 minutes in the oven. I was so happy to see it all go as it was supposed to and hear the boys finally announce, "Dinner's ready!" at 7:30. An hour late, but after the meltdown and clean up, I didn't mind. Plus, when we walked in to such a beautiful meal you could only be proud of their perseverance. Also, the huge smiles on their faces just added to a proud momma's heart.

Later that evening I see my boys huddled together doing something, but this is common for them when they are getting along. After about 30 minutes they came to me holding a piece of lined paper that made the whole day worth it, even the loss of the pan.

A Day In Mom's Shoes

1. What was it like?

Q- It was hard. I don't know how she does this everyday and not complain or cry. I have a new respect for mom.

J- It was hard, the cooking, the cleaning. I don't know how she does it. I respect her.

2. How did it feel?

Q- Horrible. At the end I ended up crying. I thank you for all you do.

J- Bad

3. How will you be better?

Q- Not complain about food and only say stuff like, "this tastes awesome" and "this is delicious". Try not to argue with Jasper.

Turn the page..

3. How will you be better? Cont.

J- Be nice, help people and not ask for help as much.

4. Conclusion

Q- Thank you for all you do for us, you are amazing and you deserve respect.

J- I didn't know just how much you did for us. I'm sorry and I love you.

This day was hard, tears were shed, but it was all worth it and if you have children and dealing with the same issues I highly recommend this exercise of switching rolls and allowing your kids to spend a day in your shoes.

Until next blog, stay sane!

Jacque